Home Education

Proving that life is what happens when you're making other plans, we're now home educating E. In his particular situation, this is because the school we have been sending him to since September is, shall we say, not a match for him. A few of our complaints? Things like being forced to miss five minutes of break if he needs the bathroom during lessons. He is a fairly rule-abiding little boy, and one day he waited until break, and was told he couldn't go back inside to use the facilities. HE IS SIX. Miscommunication, perhaps, I'll never know, but when I approached someone in-the-know, I wasn't given sympathy/apology, but rather a "your-son-wasn't-listening" kind of spiel.

There is no trust between the powers-that-be and parents. Children are punished by losing their entire break time if a parent doesn't sign their reading book every night (and I do mean every night, that's seven times a week. Last I checked, school ended on Friday and began on Monday. Now they dictate what I must do on a weekend with my child?). Homework is make-work and there's a ton of it, too much for age six--probably about an hour a week, which eats into family/weekend time. And then he comes home and I ask him about his day... and I get a little boy talking about who's misbehaved and gotten a red form, and his misery at the boy who doesn't speak English and rips down the other children's belongings, and the fact that he can't leave anything unattended or it will be thrown away or taken, and his sadness at not being able to go to the 100% attendance party, and having to sit through a school-wide assembly on the same, because he was genuinely sick last term and didn't go to school. Yet he was never late, never missed school without a "good" reason, but got caught by the luck of the draw. And yes, I have seen vomit on the way to school because a child has been so caught up in the 100% attendance party! fervor and went to be counted as present/not late, then gone home vomiting, only to rinse and repeat. Once, a child borked all over the classroom floor. BUT GUYS, AT LEAST HE CAME TO SCHOOL TO BE COUNTED AS PRESENT, THANK YOU BOX-TICKING CULTURE. And hello, germ spreading!

NB: I was given a form stating that he'd attended all but two of the forty one days of the half-term. Attendance was wrongly calculated as 94.29% And I was trusting this school to educate my son? Certainly the trust doesn't go both ways--children who don't do their homework are forced to sit in school and do it!

There are other issues, social ones being the main, that prompted us to finally home ed. E was miserable, going to school. He'd walk in like he was going to a funeral, not bouncy and cheerful and already talking to other kids like he was at his other school. Since we told him on Saturday that he didn't have to go back to school, his attitude has been amazing, and the questions have been coming thick and fast.

"Did dodos go extinct during the reign of Queen Victoria, or before?"
"If tornadoes have no debris in them, if they're just pure air, how can you tell if it's a tornado?"
"If that cafe serves hamburgers, why isn't it called a bistro instead?"

And so on, and so on.

On Monday, we pulled out a dusty magnetic science kit that I'd been meaning to get to during weekends or after-school, and never did because of all the daily life getting in the way. We learned how to magnetize a compass. We learned that metal with iron in it is attracted to magnets. We learned about the fundamentals of a mag-lev train by doing an experiment ourselves. After I picked C up from nursery (she's still going five mornings a week. We were offered full days but I declined.) we trundled off to the British Museum where we explored the Egypt section, looking at thousand year old statues and seeing hieroglyphs up close and personal. And real granite, which he's been mining in Minecraft.

Today we walked a bit over three miles, broken up by 45 minutes in a cafe where we had lunch and he did some pages in several workbooks (math and handwriting). Then we went shopping where he was the lookout for discounted items, and helped me add up the cost of everything in our basket. I'm on several lists, FB groups, on the hunt for local groups to meet friends, and am already discovering home ed stuff in this area.

We didn't go into this intending to home ed for the long term, but I feel strongly right now that this has been the correct decision. I feel relieved not to drop him off at school every morning. And I know he feels that way too. He is on the waiting list for several good local schools, so we'll see where we're at in the next few months.

Why home ed? Here's a post that I mainly agree with, one I wish I could link in real life when question are asked.

Now I have to go. The four year old has requested frogs-on-snail-toast, with rubbish flowers on the side. Side effect of me Calvin and Hobbesing her into eating her lunch. It's much more fun to eat pretend crunched up cars than a fried egg, don't ya know?

School, Autumn, Life

Life continues to roll on, complete with mild-to-moderate sleep deprivation and busy schedules (mostly B). E has settled in to preschool, and is the youngest in his class by some way (only August-born). I have mixed feelings about school in general... whether he'll be a child who falls through the cracks, gets bullied, perhaps overlooked by adults due to his general easygoing nature and reluctance to rock the boat.

He is not like a "typical boy" running around playing guns, dinosaurs, etc (although he's into vehicles, especially trains) and although he has social skills, they don't extend to defending himself when confronted by someone aggressive (or perhaps even another very assertive child). He takes criticism to heart and is sensitive, but tends not to show it on the outside. For example, he'll come home and tell me an aide was "cross with him" for something or other. He can tell me the context, because he's quite verbal, and these incidents are always, from an adult point of view, trivial. Yet to him they are a big deal, and I'm trying to process how I feel about that - whether it's a "necessary evil" for him to learn about the world, or whether I ought to look at ways to protect him from that kind of thing until he matures a little bit more. I don't like the idea of sending him off to kindergarten at the age of 4 - one MONTH after he turns 4, to be precise.

I would rather, in my heart of hearts, send him to a Montessori preschool until he hits 5. He is reading simple words now - my, no, dog, on, a few others. He is asking "what do these words spell?" every day. He is (and has been) counting with one-one correspondence up to at least five or six, and more if he is in a careful mood. He uses words like "reflection" accurately, in context, and as part of his general vocabulary. He can draw faces although he isn't much interested in drawing in general (he enjoys painting more). He is musical. He is kind.

And I just don' t feel his teachers are seeing much of this (if at all). I had a scheduled 10 minute talk with them on a parent conference day and E sat to color in a picture while I chatted. One on one with the aide, he colored in an "S" and volunteered the sound it made (sss) and also that "Snake begins with S." She was surprised. I wasn't. And I understand that there's a minimum ratio the teachers deal with but I do struggle with knowing that my son is possibly getting overlooked. Not that I want him to be drilled academically, but... it'd be nice if they appreciated what he can do. I get the feeling that the wheels are in motion for preschoolers who need extra help, but no plans in place that recognizes advanced/gifted children. And I will be honest and say that it makes me a little bit angry.

Angry that the school talks about how important attendance is and talks about FINING parents who take their child on vacation when school is in session... yet doesn't seem to recognize each child is an individual. I am fully on board with E learning how to stand in line, wait his turn, etc (actually he does all that pretty well already) but I am NOT on board with him becoming a little lemming and losing the ability to think for himself/outside the box. And I do think school, as a whole, promotes that. It's easier for the teachers, perhaps, easier for "the majority."

Well, I don't know where I'm going with this, but it's nice to put my thoughts down. I'm sure I'll refer to this post later in life. B and I sometimes go back to older posts on this blog to see how we felt back then, or look at pictures, or find the dates of something we all did. So now I've got this entry and down the line, when I need to make a definitive decision about his schooling, I'll be able to refer to it.

I think what I'd most like is a halfway house. If I could send him to school for half-days and then involve him in extracurricular activities a few times per week (sports, language, music) I would be happy. I don't think I'm up for 100% homeschooling, just as I feel leery about 100% regular schooling. I guess the only thing to do is watch how things go and play it by ear.

Meanwhile... life rolls on... we went to Clapham today to the tea place at the edge of the Common.

Father-son matching blue turtlenecks. Pistachio ice cream for the young master.

A nice treat.

Clowning around outside for the camera.
C chewing my ring!

I have a picture of me standing by this fence when I was 28 weeks pregnant with E... life really does fly by!

They love each other.

Going toward the car after a little walk around. We ran into friends about 30 seconds after I snapped this photo!

That's all for now. We are in the thick of autumn and I'm enjoying it despite the cold mornings. It's feeling like a good time to wrap up warm, enjoy cocoa, unwind, prepare for the incoming holidays. We are off to Wales in mid-November and Halloween is soon....

Warning: Political Stuff

Look away now if you mind swearing and don't want to get all het up.

If you're still reading - I'll keep it short. I don't think I've ever been so close to such craziness! Local businesses being looted and burned, riot police and vans and dogs just up the hill, our local shops shutting down at 4pm and putting metal grilles over the doors, B's office in Central London being evacuated, train stations being smashed up and closed. This is all a bit nuts.

That being said, I'm pissed off at both sides. The rioters, for opportunistic looting and senseless burning, costing businesses millions of pounds. The government, for not seeing this coming. Colossally so, in fact. I mean, the Home Secretary herself said, back in September 2010: ""The British public don't simply resort to violent unrest in the face of challenging economic circumstances. ... It is ridiculous to suggest that there are not savings that can be made in policing." (source)

You dumb bitch, there weren't enough police on the ground last night to prevent looters from totally destroying multiple parts of the city - including pillaging the hell out of some of our local shops! They were in there for hours, walking out with all sorts of stuff, all because our local cops had to go reinforce other parts of the city due to YOUR budget cuts!

And meanwhile we've got our Prime Minister, who only bothered to return from vacation earlier today, yammering on about how we're all "in this together." Apparently that also means cutting taxes for corporate buddies while putting more pressure on the working and middle classes by screwing with child benefit and shafting low-income working families by cutting child tax credits, which many people depend on to help them get childcare. I'd look for a relevant statement by George Osbourne here, but apparently he's only just curtailing his holiday in California to come back to the UK to deal with the rioting, so he's probably only getting on the plane right about now.

So while Parliament discusses stuff like reintroducing baton rounds, rubber bullets, water hoses, etc, I'm going to sit here and wonder why the fuck democracy is so skewed toward a system that favors slapping temporary bandaids onto a situation over addressing root causes. Because from where I sit, I'm disgusted at both sides. Opportunistic looters - that sums up my feelings. And I don't feel I need to differentiate between either side when I say it.

I'm becoming more libertarian by the day.

HANDS OFF

4 months into a Conservative-Liberal Democrat led Parliament.

They scrapped the ID cards and ContactPoint (where E's details would have been held for any Tom Dick and Harry "government-approved" person to peruse). I thought things were off to a good start.

Then the ConDems decided to axe playground schemes across the UK while pledging 20 billion pounds to renew the Trident nuclear weapons program.

Now the ConDems are taking the first baby steps down the slippery slope of privatization. Worse, that path leads down the UK losing its public libraries as we know them.

I've heard that some people are happy about that. Their reasoning? They can afford bookstores (or a library entrance/membership fee...). Besides, why should they have to fund something they don't use? They reckon the same goes for schools - if they don't have a school-aged child, why should their taxes pay for someone else's education?

To that I say - why should my son have to pay to support you in your old age? You want a libertarian attitude, then bring it on. Just be prepared to work for the rest of your life and deal with the crazies roaming the street because there's no facilities left for them and they're being denied the ability to sit quietly (or not so quietly) in the corner of a public library.

And believe me, the libraries are pretty much the front line for dealing with the mentally ill. If you read anything today, read this article. You might see underpaid social workers librarians through different eyes. After this post, maybe you'll see the ConDems through different eyes too. And knowing is half the battle.