CA, Part Two

Uncle Howard, his wife Nii, and son Jack (7) arrived late at night on July 4. Dad and I waited up for a phone call, but the phone booth was broken at Manzanita, so they walked! Tell you what, in this day and age where seemingly everybody is tracked, and informs you of their littlest movement, it's almost surreal to have people... just show up! Very refreshing, too.

So, we coped with our respective jet lag. Our first foray out was an early morning walk to the local playground. We started heading to Safeway afterward, and Howard points into the distance: "That looks a lot like Derek's recumbent bike."

"That's because it is his bike," I said. Which was great, because the kids were starting to flag, and small rides on the bike really pepped them up.

Anyhoodle... pictures. We went to the Marin Headlands in two different cars, aiming for a Pt. Bonita lighthouse visit. Unfortunately, we got the timing wrong, but we did get a great little explore out of the trip, even if it was foggy.

Dad and C hanging out on a foggy Hawk Hill.

Visiting a foggy Rodeo Beach after our hike. This cooler weather arrived just in time for Uncle Howard's family to feel extra cold after flying from summertime in Thailand.

The next trip out was into San Francisco, via the ferry.

We did some walking around, some shopping... and it was so windy coming back that the kids giggled and danced for ten minutes straight. They were having so much fun. (Also, I love that E and J have the same missing-top-teeth smiles!)

Next time: B arrives! More adventures.

Home education is going well. We did two museum visits: the British Museum, and on Friday E and I went to the Science Museum, where I was pleasantly surprised to find that even on term-time weekdays, they run shows! So we went to "Flash, Bang, Wallop!" where he got to see some explosions/flames and learn that fire needs three things: oxygen, fuel, and heat. He also learned that dry ice can "sublime" from a solid straight into a gas, bypassing the liquid phase. We've hit a few workbooks this week, couple pages out of each one: Math, Spelling, Handwriting, and Science. We finished "Danny, Champion of the World" and are now halfway through a nonfiction moon landing book.

C and I are doing "Teach Your Monster to Read" which is a free, interactive online game that is a) fun and b) teaches your CHILD to read. We've been reading a book a night, lately - "Each Peach Pear Plum," and other short books she chooses daily from Nursery. During my last library visit I got her a short chapter book and read it to her in a cafe while E did some workbook pages and we all drank nice, hot drinks. It's a fun way to do things.

I have 67,000 words on the novel. Plan to put in some more time in the evenings since my time during the day is a bit eaten up by home edding.

Tomorrow we all go to S's (cousin's) 5th birthday party, which will be science-themed. We are in a cold snap but two years ago I remember at this very time (when S turned 3) everything was covered in at least a foot of snow and we went to his party with heavy snowflakes falling outside!

Home Education

Proving that life is what happens when you're making other plans, we're now home educating E. In his particular situation, this is because the school we have been sending him to since September is, shall we say, not a match for him. A few of our complaints? Things like being forced to miss five minutes of break if he needs the bathroom during lessons. He is a fairly rule-abiding little boy, and one day he waited until break, and was told he couldn't go back inside to use the facilities. HE IS SIX. Miscommunication, perhaps, I'll never know, but when I approached someone in-the-know, I wasn't given sympathy/apology, but rather a "your-son-wasn't-listening" kind of spiel.

There is no trust between the powers-that-be and parents. Children are punished by losing their entire break time if a parent doesn't sign their reading book every night (and I do mean every night, that's seven times a week. Last I checked, school ended on Friday and began on Monday. Now they dictate what I must do on a weekend with my child?). Homework is make-work and there's a ton of it, too much for age six--probably about an hour a week, which eats into family/weekend time. And then he comes home and I ask him about his day... and I get a little boy talking about who's misbehaved and gotten a red form, and his misery at the boy who doesn't speak English and rips down the other children's belongings, and the fact that he can't leave anything unattended or it will be thrown away or taken, and his sadness at not being able to go to the 100% attendance party, and having to sit through a school-wide assembly on the same, because he was genuinely sick last term and didn't go to school. Yet he was never late, never missed school without a "good" reason, but got caught by the luck of the draw. And yes, I have seen vomit on the way to school because a child has been so caught up in the 100% attendance party! fervor and went to be counted as present/not late, then gone home vomiting, only to rinse and repeat. Once, a child borked all over the classroom floor. BUT GUYS, AT LEAST HE CAME TO SCHOOL TO BE COUNTED AS PRESENT, THANK YOU BOX-TICKING CULTURE. And hello, germ spreading!

NB: I was given a form stating that he'd attended all but two of the forty one days of the half-term. Attendance was wrongly calculated as 94.29% And I was trusting this school to educate my son? Certainly the trust doesn't go both ways--children who don't do their homework are forced to sit in school and do it!

There are other issues, social ones being the main, that prompted us to finally home ed. E was miserable, going to school. He'd walk in like he was going to a funeral, not bouncy and cheerful and already talking to other kids like he was at his other school. Since we told him on Saturday that he didn't have to go back to school, his attitude has been amazing, and the questions have been coming thick and fast.

"Did dodos go extinct during the reign of Queen Victoria, or before?"
"If tornadoes have no debris in them, if they're just pure air, how can you tell if it's a tornado?"
"If that cafe serves hamburgers, why isn't it called a bistro instead?"

And so on, and so on.

On Monday, we pulled out a dusty magnetic science kit that I'd been meaning to get to during weekends or after-school, and never did because of all the daily life getting in the way. We learned how to magnetize a compass. We learned that metal with iron in it is attracted to magnets. We learned about the fundamentals of a mag-lev train by doing an experiment ourselves. After I picked C up from nursery (she's still going five mornings a week. We were offered full days but I declined.) we trundled off to the British Museum where we explored the Egypt section, looking at thousand year old statues and seeing hieroglyphs up close and personal. And real granite, which he's been mining in Minecraft.

Today we walked a bit over three miles, broken up by 45 minutes in a cafe where we had lunch and he did some pages in several workbooks (math and handwriting). Then we went shopping where he was the lookout for discounted items, and helped me add up the cost of everything in our basket. I'm on several lists, FB groups, on the hunt for local groups to meet friends, and am already discovering home ed stuff in this area.

We didn't go into this intending to home ed for the long term, but I feel strongly right now that this has been the correct decision. I feel relieved not to drop him off at school every morning. And I know he feels that way too. He is on the waiting list for several good local schools, so we'll see where we're at in the next few months.

Why home ed? Here's a post that I mainly agree with, one I wish I could link in real life when question are asked.

Now I have to go. The four year old has requested frogs-on-snail-toast, with rubbish flowers on the side. Side effect of me Calvin and Hobbesing her into eating her lunch. It's much more fun to eat pretend crunched up cars than a fried egg, don't ya know?

California, Part 1

Today, I wrote 1500 words on the novel, AND I now have all the photos copied from my old laptop to this desktop, so I thought I'd better start cataloging our trip to CA before the memories fade.

We said our goodbyes to SW London, and most of E's class met on the Common to have a farewell party for him after school. It was such a nice note to leave on. Even his teacher dropped by for a quick visit, on her way to the train station. Then, a few days later, I boarded a plane to San Francisco while B stayed behind to pack up the flat and transport things to N London. In SF, Dad picked us up and we struggled with the fog of jet lag for the first few days. As I recall, we all fell asleep around eight or nine, and woke up at 2am! The kids and I lay in bed and talked and giggled. The next day, it was 3, then 4, then 4:30 or so, then finally we were sleeping in until 6 or 7.

The first days involved some admin, like renewing my CA driver's license, which involved epic line-standing at the DMV. Bleuurgh! Our first "real outing" was on the bus to San Rafael to a street-painting festival. It was 90F, hot stuff! The kids were amazed, but petered out pretty quickly due to having been up since 3ish.

In those early days, we did a lot of early morning walks on the bike path. Once my license was renewed, I started taking them to the beach. We had a week or so of very very hot weather, which was perfect for Muir Beach. We got there early, because jet lag drove us out of the house, and even saw a buck running on the sand.

A few days in, we met up with our friend M, and took one of her Golden Retrievers on a canyon hike. The next day, we all went to the Marin County Fair together! We had so much fun there, visiting the petting zoo, going on rides, eating Southern food (crawfish etoufee!), watching a puppet show, and seeing art exhibits.

C was (stunningly) under the height requirement for the huge Ferris wheel, so she and I went on the carousel while M and E went on the wheel. Thank goodness for an extra adult!

Then it was the 4th of July, and of course we had to go to the Sausalito parade. I have such fond memories of watching the parade as a child, and even marching in it (at around age 4, as part of a waterfront float, then again at 12 helping out with a handmade wooden truck and wrangling its toddler drivers, then again at 13 or 14, with my karate team and instructor, who was... an interesting person, putting it mildly! But that's a story that will have to wait.). So, we got curbside seats, early parking, and spent time playing in the playground I used to frequent as a small child, which was another neat feeling. Then the floats started coming, and my kids realized some people threw candy in our direction, which made them quite engaged!

Before the parade started, we visited this old wooden statue of a man panning for gold. I remember this statue as a beloved old landmark, from my own childhood. Then, we went back to our curb for the parade!

The highlight for me was the brass band. I think the children loved the candy the most, or perhaps the man with the real live parrot on his bicycle, riding back and forth near us.

Afterward, we watched Grandad empty the dropbox at the library, and played in the creek (well, they did. I didn't.).

So... I'm going to leave it there for now! That was most of our first week in CA. After the 4th, Uncle Howard, his wife Nii and son Jack (7) showed up for their part of the visit! I have so many pictures that I'll need to split these blog posts into many parts... but at least I've made a start. I have to say, it was probably a once-in-a-lifetime trip/visit, and I'm almost amazed it worked so well!

2014 Recap

We started this year in SW London, in the flat we'd lived in for four years. In January, we were given notice that the landlady wanted to move back in, and we began the stressful process of looking for a place to live. We negotiated an extra month in the flat so that E could finish out (most) of his year at the school he had attended since age three (he started in the Nursery, and left near the end of Year 1).

Over the Easter break, we went to Cornwall with family (grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousins, and a family friend, plus the dog). E and I had a flying lesson. Shortly after, we spent a long weekend in Norfolk with family. In June, we were off to California, leaving B with the stressful process of boxing things up and moving them north of the river, to where we now live.

We came back mid-August to complete the process of moving in, which was complicated by the fact that builders were still working on the upstairs renovation. So there were a few weeks of limbo, but we settled in. The children started their new school, C in the Nursery, E in Year 2. They completed their first term, and we had a very nice Christmas. B and I rang in the New Year with a nice meal at a nearby restaurant.

We are enjoying our new digs, enjoying being near family, and I'd say the only downside is we feel the school isn't right for E. He's on a waiting list for another one. Fingers crossed. I also miss the community feel of my last area, but that sort of thing is built up through time spent in the area, and it's starting to happen here. Given B grew up in this area, we have contacts already. Also, this borough has more things going on for older children. The last area was fantastic for ages 0-5, then began to peter off. Many child-based activities were overcrowded, oversubscribed, overpriced. One particular "singalong" type activity cost seven quid for half an hour in a dingy cafe, with a few toys and a CD player. Another "activity" cost nine quid, lasted forty minutes, and involved much the same, except with the use of a parachute. E crawled away from group activities as fast as he could go, when he was a baby. I stuck to Rhyme Time at the library. Free, if crowded.

So, how are the kids?

Well, E really enjoyed our visit to CA, and learned a lot from Grandad. See?

In January, he was in Year 1, which is almost the equivalent of first grade, except the kids are a year younger than in the States. E was one of the youngest in the year, as he'll always be since he was born in August. He took the leaving of friends in stride, enjoyed traveling, and is starting to become skeptical of school. Since he's so far ahead of most people in his grade, I can't really blame him, and we're working on a solution. Right now, he's really into Minecraft, plays Age of Empires II, a game I played as a teenager, and is still into trains, and volcanoes, and now, castles. Today, he asked: "Did the dodo go extinct in Queen Victoria's time?" We looked up the answer: it was earlier than that. He is on a cross-country running team, which meets on Sundays at a local track, and is starting swimming lessons next Saturday. He continues to have his own firm interests and is not very swayed by peer pressure, i.e. he will sit out football (soccer) games because he detests playing, but he will run and do other sports until the cows come home.

He has read many books this year, and is starting to tackle the big ones. The BFG, George's Marvelous Medicine, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and other Dahl books = conquered, read partially by us, and generally spirited off to be further devoured by himself. He enjoys nonfiction about history and natural sciences, and we have more titles on the list. We do quite a bit of bedtime reading. This, I ought to stress, is something we do because we enjoy it. One of my major bugbears with his current school is that the child is penalized if a parent forgets to write in the reading diary. They are kept indoors during breaktime and forced to read. A parent is required to sign the reading diary every single day, including over the weekend and during holidays. I don't like this, nor do I like the draconian attendance rules and the general "toe the line, recruit!" feeling. It's not something we are into for the long-term, however, and many strange things can aid growth. Overall, E is doing really well, and I remind myself that I'm not responsible for his happiness. He has to learn to deal with setbacks. And, in my opinion, he has done so admirably over this past year.

That's something I've learned as well--when to step in, and when to leave him to handle it on his own. My gut instinct is to be more laissez-faire than not. But earlier this year, I had to protect him because a line was crossed, and I think we both walked away from that as stronger people. I actually had a small epiphany, relating to "what's bad behavior at 6 is grounds for suspension from school at 16, and is criminal at 26." I explained this to E when he was exposed to something very hurtful earlier this year, and I think this helped him grasp what he needed to understand. I also told him there are adult enablers in life who excuse things that should not be excused, and these people sometimes wrongly blame others. This wasn't an easy lesson for a little boy to learn, but life isn't easy. I have to say it wasn't a simple thing for me to digest, either, but I have to go by my inner barometer. I wonder how many parents of abusive people have excused their child's violent behavior by saying "he/she was provoked"? I wonder if that behavior continues down the line, to where the parent turns aside when their former little boy hits his girlfriend/wife/significant other, and excuses it by saying well, the person deserved that punch because they said X to him/didn't bring his beer fast enough/etc. I had to tell E he doesn't deserve violence inflicted upon him, that disagreements between friends (or anyone, really) should not involve him being pushed, slapped, punched, etc. Nor should it involve him doing the same, which I was clear to him about, after a brief flirtation with allowing violence out of self-defense. (I'm so very proud to say he has learned to walk/run away.) I'm writing this out here because I refer to these posts as the years go by, and I don't want to forget it. I will no longer let things slide in the name of keeping harmony, just because it's the easier way, and because I have a boy who is kind and lets things slide too. So that's my lesson of the year.

On to C...

She is really blossoming, and has matured greatly over this year!

She continued with her playgroup twice a week until June, and also did a short sports class once a week. She truly enjoyed her CA trip, and I think it was amazing for her development. In September, she started Nursery, where she struck up a friendship with a little girl who doesn't speak much English, bringing both of them out of their shells. Glowing reports from her teachers who love having her there. She likes the outdoors, and keeping up with her big brother. She is reading letters, and very simple words (with prompting). Books are a big thing now, and we read quite a bit to her. She now goes to Nursery five mornings a week, from 9-12, and is starting swimming lessons next Saturday. As a December-born baby, she is one of the older ones in the year.

C is teaching herself to write, and actually scripts out letters, although she can't always read the "words" they make. She *can* copy things, and will do so with great glee, and make me read the results. She is very into princesses, and horses (all animals, really!), and her big present this Christmas was a wooden dollhouse. She so enjoys playing with her cousins and imaginary play with her brother, and helping me walk the dog. She can be shy, but I am hoping she realizes that everyone can be shy, that shy is not an automatic label that one cannot break out of. Like with E, I try to praise for effort over ability. Luckily, this little girl has effort in spades. She is a hard worker. She gets knocked down, but she gets up again. 2014 was a fantastic year for her.

And 2014 for B? New job last January, which was so very exciting because his commute became far, far easier. He enjoyed CA and continues to be an amazing husband and hands-on father.

2014 for me? A time of changes, a time of growth. I have plans for my writing career, and am so grateful for the chance to stay home with the kids and watch them grow and develop.

I will do my utmost to keep blogging here over the next twelve months! Today is a poignant day--it would have been my mother's 70th birthday. So, here's to her.