2014 Recap

We started this year in SW London, in the flat we'd lived in for four years. In January, we were given notice that the landlady wanted to move back in, and we began the stressful process of looking for a place to live. We negotiated an extra month in the flat so that E could finish out (most) of his year at the school he had attended since age three (he started in the Nursery, and left near the end of Year 1).

Over the Easter break, we went to Cornwall with family (grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousins, and a family friend, plus the dog). E and I had a flying lesson. Shortly after, we spent a long weekend in Norfolk with family. In June, we were off to California, leaving B with the stressful process of boxing things up and moving them north of the river, to where we now live.

We came back mid-August to complete the process of moving in, which was complicated by the fact that builders were still working on the upstairs renovation. So there were a few weeks of limbo, but we settled in. The children started their new school, C in the Nursery, E in Year 2. They completed their first term, and we had a very nice Christmas. B and I rang in the New Year with a nice meal at a nearby restaurant.

We are enjoying our new digs, enjoying being near family, and I'd say the only downside is we feel the school isn't right for E. He's on a waiting list for another one. Fingers crossed. I also miss the community feel of my last area, but that sort of thing is built up through time spent in the area, and it's starting to happen here. Given B grew up in this area, we have contacts already. Also, this borough has more things going on for older children. The last area was fantastic for ages 0-5, then began to peter off. Many child-based activities were overcrowded, oversubscribed, overpriced. One particular "singalong" type activity cost seven quid for half an hour in a dingy cafe, with a few toys and a CD player. Another "activity" cost nine quid, lasted forty minutes, and involved much the same, except with the use of a parachute. E crawled away from group activities as fast as he could go, when he was a baby. I stuck to Rhyme Time at the library. Free, if crowded.

So, how are the kids?

Well, E really enjoyed our visit to CA, and learned a lot from Grandad. See?

In January, he was in Year 1, which is almost the equivalent of first grade, except the kids are a year younger than in the States. E was one of the youngest in the year, as he'll always be since he was born in August. He took the leaving of friends in stride, enjoyed traveling, and is starting to become skeptical of school. Since he's so far ahead of most people in his grade, I can't really blame him, and we're working on a solution. Right now, he's really into Minecraft, plays Age of Empires II, a game I played as a teenager, and is still into trains, and volcanoes, and now, castles. Today, he asked: "Did the dodo go extinct in Queen Victoria's time?" We looked up the answer: it was earlier than that. He is on a cross-country running team, which meets on Sundays at a local track, and is starting swimming lessons next Saturday. He continues to have his own firm interests and is not very swayed by peer pressure, i.e. he will sit out football (soccer) games because he detests playing, but he will run and do other sports until the cows come home.

He has read many books this year, and is starting to tackle the big ones. The BFG, George's Marvelous Medicine, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and other Dahl books = conquered, read partially by us, and generally spirited off to be further devoured by himself. He enjoys nonfiction about history and natural sciences, and we have more titles on the list. We do quite a bit of bedtime reading. This, I ought to stress, is something we do because we enjoy it. One of my major bugbears with his current school is that the child is penalized if a parent forgets to write in the reading diary. They are kept indoors during breaktime and forced to read. A parent is required to sign the reading diary every single day, including over the weekend and during holidays. I don't like this, nor do I like the draconian attendance rules and the general "toe the line, recruit!" feeling. It's not something we are into for the long-term, however, and many strange things can aid growth. Overall, E is doing really well, and I remind myself that I'm not responsible for his happiness. He has to learn to deal with setbacks. And, in my opinion, he has done so admirably over this past year.

That's something I've learned as well--when to step in, and when to leave him to handle it on his own. My gut instinct is to be more laissez-faire than not. But earlier this year, I had to protect him because a line was crossed, and I think we both walked away from that as stronger people. I actually had a small epiphany, relating to "what's bad behavior at 6 is grounds for suspension from school at 16, and is criminal at 26." I explained this to E when he was exposed to something very hurtful earlier this year, and I think this helped him grasp what he needed to understand. I also told him there are adult enablers in life who excuse things that should not be excused, and these people sometimes wrongly blame others. This wasn't an easy lesson for a little boy to learn, but life isn't easy. I have to say it wasn't a simple thing for me to digest, either, but I have to go by my inner barometer. I wonder how many parents of abusive people have excused their child's violent behavior by saying "he/she was provoked"? I wonder if that behavior continues down the line, to where the parent turns aside when their former little boy hits his girlfriend/wife/significant other, and excuses it by saying well, the person deserved that punch because they said X to him/didn't bring his beer fast enough/etc. I had to tell E he doesn't deserve violence inflicted upon him, that disagreements between friends (or anyone, really) should not involve him being pushed, slapped, punched, etc. Nor should it involve him doing the same, which I was clear to him about, after a brief flirtation with allowing violence out of self-defense. (I'm so very proud to say he has learned to walk/run away.) I'm writing this out here because I refer to these posts as the years go by, and I don't want to forget it. I will no longer let things slide in the name of keeping harmony, just because it's the easier way, and because I have a boy who is kind and lets things slide too. So that's my lesson of the year.

On to C...

She is really blossoming, and has matured greatly over this year!

She continued with her playgroup twice a week until June, and also did a short sports class once a week. She truly enjoyed her CA trip, and I think it was amazing for her development. In September, she started Nursery, where she struck up a friendship with a little girl who doesn't speak much English, bringing both of them out of their shells. Glowing reports from her teachers who love having her there. She likes the outdoors, and keeping up with her big brother. She is reading letters, and very simple words (with prompting). Books are a big thing now, and we read quite a bit to her. She now goes to Nursery five mornings a week, from 9-12, and is starting swimming lessons next Saturday. As a December-born baby, she is one of the older ones in the year.

C is teaching herself to write, and actually scripts out letters, although she can't always read the "words" they make. She *can* copy things, and will do so with great glee, and make me read the results. She is very into princesses, and horses (all animals, really!), and her big present this Christmas was a wooden dollhouse. She so enjoys playing with her cousins and imaginary play with her brother, and helping me walk the dog. She can be shy, but I am hoping she realizes that everyone can be shy, that shy is not an automatic label that one cannot break out of. Like with E, I try to praise for effort over ability. Luckily, this little girl has effort in spades. She is a hard worker. She gets knocked down, but she gets up again. 2014 was a fantastic year for her.

And 2014 for B? New job last January, which was so very exciting because his commute became far, far easier. He enjoyed CA and continues to be an amazing husband and hands-on father.

2014 for me? A time of changes, a time of growth. I have plans for my writing career, and am so grateful for the chance to stay home with the kids and watch them grow and develop.

I will do my utmost to keep blogging here over the next twelve months! Today is a poignant day--it would have been my mother's 70th birthday. So, here's to her.